If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
