so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You may now shotgun with the bride
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
