Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.

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  (206): Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too. http://tfl.nu/q39q
  Replies (9) Good night (1690) Bad night (655)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them

  (514): View more from Quebec

  the remaining ten - you weren't in

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  (514): i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them (514): the remaining ten - you weren't in http://tfl.nu/19lj
  Replies (32) Good night (5104) Bad night (729)
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  (631): View more from New York

  i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker

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  (631): i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker http://tfl.nu/xdfg
  Replies (16) Good night (4878) Bad night (1338)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole

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  (678): better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole http://tfl.nu/f6uw
  Replies (4) Good night (3793) Bad night (654)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway

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  (651): just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway http://tfl.nu/le5e
  Replies (18) Good night (1143) Bad night (3770)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?

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  (501): My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class? http://tfl.nu/2kq9
  Replies (10) Good night (975) Bad night (3155)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro

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  (902): Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro http://tfl.nu/z3ei
  Replies (10) Good night (3099) Bad night (1079)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex

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  (226): This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex http://tfl.nu/70co
  Replies (7) Good night (1991) Bad night (1143)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love

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  (201): for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love http://tfl.nu/brad
  Replies (10) Good night (3669) Bad night (714)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.

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  (719): i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please. http://tfl.nu/3lio
  Replies (5) Good night (505) Bad night (884)
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  (510): View more from California

  So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.

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  (510): So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor. http://tfl.nu/fpi2
  Replies (1) Good night (1020) Bad night (380)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.

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  (616): Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS. http://tfl.nu/6mor
  Replies (3) Good night (315) Bad night (781)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.

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  (306): just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute. http://tfl.nu/w8bj
  Replies (6) Good night (295) Bad night (702)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.

  (636): View more from Missouri

  $5. Donated.

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  (314): Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate. (636): $5. Donated. http://tfl.nu/smvj
  Replies (0) Good night (832) Bad night (340)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.

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  (615): fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize. http://tfl.nu/qrsa
  Replies (2) Good night (311) Bad night (333)

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