I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
we made out on top of his cat.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.