he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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