This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
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No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
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He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?