Texts From Last Night

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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram

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  (267): worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram http://tfl.nu/sbpo
  Replies (11) Good night (548) Bad night (2539)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.

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  (509): Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN. http://tfl.nu/p4en
  Replies (19) Good night (4125) Bad night (429)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  We are so in love

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  so when's the next time you get to see your balls

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  (318): We are so in love (504): so when's the next time you get to see your balls http://tfl.nu/6s0s
  Replies (7) Good night (3121) Bad night (1041)
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  (718): View more from New York

  Barsexuality is the new black.

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  (718): Barsexuality is the new black. http://tfl.nu/lc2j
  Replies (7) Good night (2511) Bad night (574)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should

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  (609): i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should http://tfl.nu/q5zo
  Replies (25) Good night (4323) Bad night (732)
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  (951): View more from California

  So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.

  (909): View more from California

  dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?

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  (951): So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito. (909): dude... how have they not drug tested you yet? http://tfl.nu/fx38
  Replies (43) Good night (6926) Bad night (973)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."

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  (480): So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..." http://tfl.nu/pg8j
  Replies (15) Good night (6335) Bad night (1040)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"

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  (406): As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends" http://tfl.nu/0sp9
  Replies (8) Good night (2964) Bad night (798)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog

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  (907): Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog http://tfl.nu/oh2n
  Replies (16) Good night (2753) Bad night (1036)
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  (747): View more from California

  by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.

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  (747): by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party. http://tfl.nu/9v1z
  Replies (7) Good night (1985) Bad night (572)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo

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  (613): Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo http://tfl.nu/26vh
  Replies (10) Good night (1971) Bad night (486)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in

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  (724): Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in http://tfl.nu/7o0k
  Replies (11) Good night (610) Bad night (1284)
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  (415): View more from California

  Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.

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  (415): Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me. http://tfl.nu/brt4
  Replies (5) Good night (974) Bad night (258)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars

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  (515): i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars http://tfl.nu/h89f
  Replies (5) Good night (543) Bad night (247)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?

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  (913): How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex? http://tfl.nu/1k3m
  Replies (0) Good night (484) Bad night (200)

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