I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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