Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.