So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I think my vagina is haunted
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
