I want to have your abortion
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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