grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
