That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
