we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
