garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
