I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
