and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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