am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
So here I am, sexting at work.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
