I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
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she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
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I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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