This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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