dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
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She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
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I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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