someone owes me an orgasm
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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