I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
