I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
