I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
