Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
