As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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