Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
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it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
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He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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