ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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