Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Randomize
