so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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