He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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