Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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