I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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