her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
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Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
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There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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