I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mondays should just be called national damage control day
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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