you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
