Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize