dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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