if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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