I'm going to jail i love you
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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