i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.