I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
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i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
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If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
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