You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
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Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral