Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize