i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
