i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
how do flat chested girls get laid?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
