I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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