how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
