Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize