i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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