How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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