it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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