i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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