Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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