HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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