I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize