youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
