He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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