he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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