I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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