so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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