Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
