Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
