I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?