I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.