im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
19 Doctors Confess The Most Difficult Situation They’ve Ever Had To Face
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.