Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I don't deserve a penis
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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